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unfiltered thoughts on fillers, botox & beauty
it's not just you, it's everywhere
Sabrina Molu
March 13, 2024
I met my oldest friend on the playground in the 4th grade. She was one year older and she came up to me and asked if I spoke Urdu. I said “yes” - she then asked me in Urdu “Akko Urdu athi hai?” I said “ha" - and thus a great friendship was born.
It’s been about 25 years since that day and every few weeks her and I spend an hour on the phone - chatting about your littles, married life, and our dreams and goals for our lives.
A few chats ago she told me she was really proud of me. Confused, I asked her “why?” and she told me that she was proud because I am still me and that I hadn’t let the pressures of my job make me morphe into what she so gently called “Instagram Face”
She went on to explain how everyone looks kinda the same now, and that she was glad that I didn’t give into it.
I hesitantly took the compliment…. I never thought much about “Instagram Face” but since that conversation, I can’t stop thinking about it.
So today we’re talking about my unfiltered thoughts on fillers, Botox & getting work done.
THIS WEEK’S HIGHS
I’m starting to really hone in on my storytelling skills on video. I’ve been reading a few books and listening to some podcasts on how to be a better storyteller. It’s one of my goals for this year to really perfect and master my craft. This is a helpful list if you’d like to work on this too.
THIS WEEK’S LOWS
If you’ve been following along on Instagram you may know that our family is adjusting to Mila’s time at school. It sparked a full on sleep regression at home that we weren’t prepared for. I’m happy to say (under my breath) that things seem to be looking up.
I also wasn’t prepared for some of the comments from readers telling me that my daughter needs me at this time and to not put her in school just so I can work.
Weird that in 2024 we’re giving people unsolicited advice on their family choices. Friendly reminder that you just shouldn’t do this.
💫 work wife trivia
📆 weekly report is in
Read, Eat, Play, Obsess, Recommend, & Treat
📚Audiobooks are severely underrated. I got though 6 chapters of my ACOTR books while I was driving, cleaning the kitchen, and walking the dog. I’m convinced it’s the only way I’m gonna read more.
🍴I’m obsessed with this instagram account. She goes grocery shopping for the week (under $100) and shows you how to make TWENTY meals with all of the ingredients (no waste) how incredible is that?
🎲 I love a good overnight lip mask and this one from Belif is a tried and true favorite. Plus it’s 50% today!
🛍️ I’m picking up the new KVD serum foundation from the Ulta Sale today. I haven’t tried it myself, but it promises to be long lasting and transfer proof, so let’s see! At $20 it’s worth a try!
🤌 If you want to feel pretty, get a Hill House dress. This one is a favorite and is on sale right now.
🍦 The world is sleeping on Almond Joys. It’s always been my favorite candy and for Valentine’s Day Sahir got me a full candy bar. It’s been hidden away and yesterday I found it — it was so good.
💉 my unfiltered thoughts on fillers, Botox, and getting work done
I thought a lot about whether I wanted to write this post because I feel like its so controversial.
On the one hand, girl do you - whatever makes you look and feel beautiful - go for it! On the other hand, what is happening to our society that’s making us feel like all of this is necessary to look and feel beautiful?
Is this the very real side effects to filter culture?
I’m going to reserve this depth of this post for paid subscribers, because I really dig into what it’s like being in the beauty industry, being a creator who’s facing this world publicly, and my personal thoughts on what I think is excessive.
Phoebe gets it.
While there are a lot of older women who follow me, there’s also a lot of younger women. These women are undoubtedly feeling a lot of pressure that they need to get processes & procedures done.
It’s heavily pushed that precedes are normal and what you should be doing. Hell, I even asked my esthetician at 29 if I needed Botox. (Luckily, she set me straight right away with a hard no)
No matter your age, you absolutely do not NEED to do anything cosmetic. If you’d LIKE to - I highly recommend doing extensive research on your injectors. (i.e. board certification, anatomic expertise, years of experience, and strict with safety)
Before we get into it, hear me loudly and clearly: There is absolutely nothing amiss if you choose to get Botox, fillers, or even plastic surgery done. But if influencing people is my job, then I don’t think it’s wrong to influence people who are on the fence to take a more “wait and see” approach.
Here are my thoughts on how it’s different as a parent, the pressure I feel as a creator with a public profile, would I ever get work done, and more.
P.S. I love being able to share my goodies with you all in the weekly giveaway. You can find the secret password at the bottom of the email, but there's no rush - enjoy the email. I've worked hard on it :)
👱♀️ WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? ISN’T EVERYONE GETTING IT?
It seems that way doesn’t it. But the truth is that fillers are down across the board. Data shows that more and more people are getting their fillers dissolved and the injectables industry is down year over year.
Filler fatigue is a real thing. In fact, after the Friends reunion, Courtney Cox admitted to that getting fillers were here biggest regret.
🤱 DOES THIS HIT DIFFERENT AS A PARENT?
There was a creator whom I really admire who talked about the work she had done a few weeks ago on her platform. When someone asked if how she thinks of this as a mother to a daughter - she said “if my 11 year old daughter wanted to get something done to make her more confident I would support her” — and that took me OUT.
You’ve got to be kidding me. I’m all for transparency, but let’s call a spade a spade. That’s a cop out.
I had TERRIBLE ideas when I was a teenager. Thank god my mom never let me get a tattoo, get my bellybutton pierced, perm my hair or do any of the other things I was sure I wanted.
So back to the question.
Does this hit different? It absolutely hits different. I’m the mom of a little girl who’s absolutely perfect (like all children). Her little eyes are perfect, her smile is perfect, her chunky legs are perfect, and her nose is perfect. — half of those features are also mine.
This is what it says to her…
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Changing those things about me to make myself like me more, tells her that I don’t like them on her.
I get offers every WEEK for free procedures. Something as small as a filler or as big as a Rhinoplasty - but there’s a lot to consider here.
All procedures are not the same. A little bit of filler to maintain looking like you is great if that’s what you want. Getting your lips done at 16 might be a different story.
Self love isn’t about bubble baths and face masks. It’s about accepting that the body that you have will change with time and life circumstances (like pregnancy and age) and loving it through it all.
❌ SO ARE YOU SAYING YOU’D NEVER GET WORK DONE?
As of today, I have never had any procedures done - small or big.
I once got a lash lift and ended up having a panic attack, so hard pass on the optional procedures for me, for now.
But I’m in the never say never camp. If I do, I will absolutely be transparent about it.
There are also some medical benefits to Botox like TMJ relief, so that’s another factor to consider.
I’m glad I never fell prey to the “preventative Botox” scandal in my 20s. Most dermatologists agree that this is kinda a scam.
I am taking a ‘wait and see’ approach and if you’re hesitant, I recommend that you do the same.
Will my answer change down the road? Maybe. But at that point it’ll be more age appropriate. It’s never too late for a good skincare routine and in office procedures like micro needling which can be minimally invasive.
IS THERE PRESSURE AS A CREATOR TO LOOK A CERTAIN WAY?
Probably yes, but I put zero effort or energy into these thoughts. It’s not my business what people think I should look like.
I will admit, it’s kinda strange to have a job where you are filming yourself every week and then going back and editing that footage. The job certainly isn’t for everyone.
After 13 years in this space, I feel like I’m confident enough to do this job.
It’s none of my concern what others have gotten done. I have a heads down focus on me & being the best version of myself.
Right now that version looks like a good nutrition, exercise, and low stress lifestyle.
IS EVERYONE AROUND YOU GETTING WORK DONE?
Yes, and it’s wild. Both influencers and regular people around me are getting everything under the sun done. Chin filler? Neck fillers? Removing stretch marks with lasers? And you can’t forget the lips…
It really didn’t phase me for a long time. I’m a certified girls’ girl. Whatever makes you happy!
But then my 13 year old cousin sent me a video from an influencer who shares about skincare whom I told her follow.
I really liked [said influencer’s] videos, but when she shared that she got stopped at the airport because her passport photo looks nothing like her —after her cheek fillers, chin fillers, double eyelid surgery, lip filler. I was shocked.
At what point do you not look like you anymore?
I was immediately worried about the message that this sent my 13 year old cousin and in turn what my daughter would consume when she was older.
BUT TRANSPARENCY IS A GOOD THING, RIGHT?
I do like that people are being more transparent of what they are getting done. I don’t think anyone believes that J.Lo’s anti-aging secret is Olive Oil.
BUT I think the snowball effect is that people are hearing more and more about it - so it’s making it normalized and having a peer pressure approach.
🩸 FINAL THOUGHTS ON FILLERS
Before I wrap up, I do want to reiterate that not all procedures are the same. Women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s who want to gently reduce wrinkles is very different than 20 year olds getting chin filler and neck lines dissolved.
I hope we can maintain a positive conversation when it comes to filler and getting work done.
This week's giveaway will be a bundle hundreds of dollars of makeup and beauty products. In order to enter, you need to BOTH of the two things.
As a reminder, be sure to like AND comment on my last 6 posts to be entered to win.
1) Go to my Instagram profile here & like/comment on my last 6 posts. This tells the IG algorithm that you like my content and want to see more of it. #besties
2) Go to my stories and enter the secret password "filler" into the box in my Instagram stories now. The box will remain up till 8:30 AM EST on Thursday 03/21
Can’t wait to see you for the next edition of The Work Wife!